My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 5 months now. We’ve been living together after hitting our 3rd monthsary. But now, I guess we need to live separately. Just recently, my girlfriend was assigned to a place very far from our home. She works as a writer in an international dating blog. I know it’ll be very hard but we need to be strong. So yeah, we will be in a long distance relationship. I trust her, and she knows she can trust on me too. Is this worth the risk?
Ask yourself this question as the first step to an LDR. In case, both of your work-life balance is tilted towards work, your relationship will walk out of the door in the first three months of you moving out.
An LDR requires a lot of dedication, a spurt of imagination, creativity, and more importantly, a dedicated me-time allocated for both the partners. And if you have a panic-stricken boss or a strict deadline, you are doomed.
Are both of you sexually attracted to each other?
This could tilt either way. The yearning for a physical connection can make the heart grow fonder. However, too long, and you’ll end up stretching the desire to desperation, and eventually to frustration.
The lack of a physical connection in long distance relationships is often the breeding ground for cheating, and slow brewing breakups, if you aren’t completely content in other departments.
Is there enough transparency between both of you?
Transparency makes that the word of the day, the most important of them all.
You might not be doing anything that counts as infidelity, but the fact that you hide details, can cause some major trust issues, especially when you are in a long distance relationship. No relation, romantic or not, survive without trust.
So, if you are going in for an LDR, make sure you have your trust sorted. Doubt takes more lives than the devil can.
Can you deal with not talking all day?
So most of your friends would vote for keeping up the communication decibel like you two are still in the same bus; but it doesn’t take too long to become too much.
The sweet spot is right where there is just enough communication that is not overpowering other priorities in either of your lives.
Are you willing to put in the effort?
Guess what, it often happens that we need to find new and creative ways of communicating with each other while in an LDR, or the mundane and drab nature of life gets over us, and overpowering it can often become a huge task.
And finding new ways of communicating do take a lot of effort. Write letters, send mix-tapes maybe, buy a train ticket (or a flight ticket) and go visit in person! and don’t just rely on Skype and Facetime. Technology is only screened deep.
All of these things will come at a cost more than the money going out of your pocket. They will need a consistent effort. Are you willing to put it in?